When children in foster care reunite with their families, their foster caregivers sometimes wonder: “Did I make a difference? Has my time with them helped? Will they remember me?”
For Amara foster caregivers Kate and Sami, the answer is found in the small but lasting lessons they share with every child they welcome into their home. Along with providing emotional safety and individualized care, they teach each child a lifelong skill they take with them when they reunite with their families. They taught school-age twins how to make their favorite dish, homemade macaroni and cheese. They taught two other young siblings how to ride a two-wheel bicycle and how to keep their heads above water in a swimming pool. In this intentional way, Kate and Sami know that their time with each child makes a lasting difference.
“Our love never stops,” said Kate, even when a child’s family opts out of keeping in touch after reunifying.
Over the past nearly five years, the couple has cared for 10 children, including a set of twins and a baby with complex medical needs. They also have a young son of their own, who has come to love every child they foster. “His two best friends are two young brothers” that recently reunified, Kate shared.
Throughout every foster placement, Kate and Sami have relied on Amara to be there for them every step of the way. They know they can always count on Mari, one of Amara’s Foster Care Specialists, to calmly explain things, guide them through challenges, and to help them get what they need for each child. And Amara’s child Placement Coordinator, Jenny, has helped them in important ways too, such as making sure they don’t get overwhelmed. “Jenny is my jam,” Kate said with a smile.
How can one couple balance work, caring for multiple kids in a short time, build relationships with each child’s family, while also parenting every day?
They make sure love is a part of everything they do, they lean on their families and friends, and they rely on Amara whenever needed. “It’s the fabulously modern, messy American family, right?” Kate said. “We all need a village.”
When people see them at the store with multiple kids in tow and say things like: “Wow, you have your hands full.” “We say, ‘full of love,’” Sami added.
Sami explained she wanted to become a foster caregiver since she was very young, partly because she was raised by her mom and grandparents. “I’ve always had it in my heart to help families.”
The couple recalled one preschooler they cared for who had a lot of challenging behaviors. With Amara’s help and by leaning into love, they were able to stay consistent with the child. Slowly, he felt safe and began to heal. Over time, his challenging behaviors faded, and he found joy in simple moments, like asking Kate or Sami to pull over on the drive to school so they could watch sunrises.
More recently, Kate and Sami, their son, and two children in their care, all traveled to Texas so they could help reunite one of the children with her extended family, whom she had never met. Kate and Sami built a great relationship with the child’s aunt to make the child’s transition easier. Now, they are all still connected, and they plan to spend the holidays together in Texas.
“Our foster experience has been so unique,” Kate said. “It’s not your typical foster care story. We have gotten so much from this experience, so much more than we ever thought we would…These kids deserve the world.”